My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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