She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
