I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
