She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
