I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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