its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
