i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
someone owes me an orgasm
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
