The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i think my mom watched the whole time
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
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