And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
