You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
