Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize