i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I need moral support for this bender
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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