Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
