Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
