Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
