Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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