I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
