Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
