You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
