I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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