You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
