She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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