I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
