fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Bring me that man meat
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
