Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
