the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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