You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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