My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Randomize
