my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
