just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
