I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
