i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
