Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
