she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
im holly from the hills drunk
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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