don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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