Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she told me i tasted like america
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
