If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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