I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I wish my penis had an off switch
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
