party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
