I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I want to make a zoo with you.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
