guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
