Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
