Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I could fuck to npr.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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