New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
