I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize