"it" just moved
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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