Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
