so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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