are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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