Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
