she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
