I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
