I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
