I want to walk on stilts...naked
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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