I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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