I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
ok first of all what the fuck
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
