I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
