I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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