Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
