I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize